Vocaloid - 100 Things
by Ura Omote Author
Summary: Loads of Vocaloids, one Utau, and one OC gather in a room and check out everyone's profiles. Seems boring and official, right? They decide to add 100 'facts' to each profile. Credit to Victoria White Cat! Rated T for violence and language. And fluff. Everyone is 100% OOC, so keep that in mind.
1. Hatsune Miku: Kitty-Cat Murderer

**''Hello there! And welcome to Vocaloid - 100 things! Credit to Victoria~White~Cat for the 100 Things! My life has been shit lately, plus my heart is probably going to explode with stress... so yeah... I'm gonna take my mind off it with this. By the way, I own nothing. Except To-chi. Because she's my OC. Duh.  
**

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''Look, look! It's a record of everyone we've met!'' Rin yelled, throwing To-chi around the room.  
She scrolled down.  
''Meh, how boring. Let's add some stuff!''  
''But should we really be doing thi-'' To-chi began, getting up off the floor.  
''WE'LL DO MIKU FIRST!'' Rin pumped her fist energetically. ''You with me, Kaito, Len, Gakupo, Gumi, Neru, Teto?''  
''YES!'' they shouted. Miku looked excited.  
''Eh... this will not end well.'' To-chi facepalmed.

1.) She's called Hatsune Miku.

''Oh, well observed,'' Miku said sarcastically.

2.) She's got blue hair.

3.) She made her own website. It's called Screw You Luka Dot Com.

4.) Screw You Luka Dot Com doesn't actually exist.

5.) To-chi, that wasn't a fact about Miku.

6.) Neither was that, Gumi.

7.) Ah well.

8.) Miku is a baka baka baka!

9.) She is a kitty-cat murderer.

10.) MIKU IS CRUEL TO ANIMALS!

''YOU'RE AN AWFUL PERSON MIKU-SENPAI!''

12.) She's dating Kaito.

13.) So Rin is sad.

''OH MY GOD SHUT UP I DON'T LIKE KAITO!''

14.) Miku Hatsune's name means First Sound or something like that.

''This will probably be the only fact on this list...'' To-chi sighed.  
''Whaddaya mean?! They're all facts!'' Rin declared. Wrongly.

15.) She has a weird mutated version of her called Calne Ca.

16.) Which is freaking creepy.

17.) But cool at the same time.

18.) We nicknamed her yandere self ''Yansune Miku''.

19.) And her tsundere self ''Tsunsune Miku''.

20.) And here deredere self... well you get the idea.

21.) She's the number one princess in the world...

22.) And you should know to treat her that way, okay?

''Teto-chan stop putting song lyrics!'' To-chi yelled.

23.) Okay.

''AND STOP MAKING CONVERSATIONS FACTS!''

24.) Miku approves of Miley Cyrus.

25.) She practises twerking in secret.

26.) But one time Neru caught her at it.

27.) She blackmailed Miku.

28.) Miku didn't pay.

29.) So Neru's pics of Miku twerking are about to arrive.

Everyone flipped out their cell phones and laughed their heads off.

30.) Thanks Neru.

31.) The world is mine!

Somehow Miku had made her way over to the computer to type. Teto and Rin shoved her out a window.

32.) Or so she thinks.

33.) She is obsessed with leeks.

34.) She started up a Leek Geeks club.

35.) See ''One One Zero Four One Four'' for more info.

''A SHAMELESS ADVERTISING!'' To-chi growled, standing behind Gumi with a random harisen.

36.) She detests full stops

37.) She's a crazy, patched up Matryoshka!

38.) Do do do do do do do do do do do!

39.) She sees dead people.

40.) And they annoy her.

''STOP STEALING QUOTES TETO!''

41.) Her favourite channel on Youtube is all the ones made by users who have her as her profile pic.

42.) Her role model is herself.

43.) Her favourite flowers are blue roses.

44.) She has a headache right now.

45.) Headaches can be a right pain in the-

46.) Anadin sponsors Deal or No Deal!

''SHAMELESS ADVERTISING FOR STUFF THAT DOESN'T EVEN BELONG TO US?!''

47.) She's got that super bass!

''NOT EVEN VOCALOID SONGS?! All right. I quit.'' To-chi sighed in exasperation.

48.) Boom-ba-doom-ba-boom-ba-doom-ba-bass!

49.) She's got that super bass!

50.) OH OH! WE'RE HALFWAY THERE! OH OH! LIVING ON A PRAYER!

''This is supposed to be about me!'' Miku yelled indignantly at Rin, who appeared to be a big Bon Jovi fan.

51.) She sells sea shells on the sea shore.

52.) She got stung by a jellyfish once.

53.) Except it wasn't a jellyfish.

54.) IT WAS TAKO LUKA!

55.) So she made Screw You Luka Dot Com.

56.) Does she like waffles?

57.) Yeah she likes waffles!

58.) Does she like pancakes?

59.) Yeah she likes pancakes!

60.) Does she like French toast?

61.) Yeah she likes French toast!

62.) Do doo doo doot, can't wait to get a mouthful!

''ENOUGH!''

63.) She and Kaito have kissed.

64.) Or have they?

65.) Are they even really dating?

66.) SHOWMANCE!

67.0) She loves decimals.

68.) She likes to put people in cosplay and give them singing lessons in the middle of the night because she rolls like that. Did you know?

''Boy, do I ever,'' To-chi murmured.

69.) She gives really harsh critiques.

70.) She's like a female Simon Cowell!

''No, just no.''

71.) She finally hit the ground.

''Eh?'' said Teto and Rin.

''You know, you threw her out the window?'' To-chi clarified. She then whispered, ''You do know we're on the 1,000,000th floor, right?''

72.) Miku Hatsune: 2007-2013

''She was only five years old! And a bit!'' Gumi said ruefully.

73.) Her death was a sad event which will be regretted for about an hour and then we'll move on.

74.) Because we're strong.

75.) Not because we're heartless.

76.) Yeah.

Miku suddenly appeared in front of them. ''FOOLED YAS BITCHES!''

''How could you?!'' To-chi cried, chucking the last minute gravestone at Miku's head. However, it was still rock and Miku began bleeding rather badly.

77.) She is only a voice synthesizer, yet she has blood. Impressive.

78.) People are calling her the world's fakest pop star.

79.) That's not true.

80.) Not being human makes her fake? Seriously? She never claimed to be human.

81.) So shut up, haters!

82.) They see her rolling, they hatin'!

''Good one Neru!'' Rin nodded approvingly.

83.) She throws her hands up in the air sometimes.

84.) Saying 'Hey-oh, Gotta let go!'

85.) She wants to celebrate and live her life!

''Doesn't everyone?''

''...''

86.) I used up all of my tricks.

87.) I hope that she likes this.

88.) But she probably won't.

89.) She thinks she's cooler than us.

''So true.''  
''Hey! What do you take me for?!''

90.) Nananana everyday.

91.) Like her Ipod's stuck on replay, replay!

''All right, now everyone's just writing random songs that come into their heads!'' To-chi was holding the harisen again. Rin quickly took over the computer.

92.) When you spike her hot chocolate with alcohol she goes crazy.

93.) And tore me to pieces.

94.) And threw every piece into a fire.

95.) As I burned, it hurt because

96.) I was laughing at you!

''Rin-chan, please...''  
''Okay, okay.''

97.) Miku has a diploma in idolity. If that's a word.

98.) If it's not never mind.

99.) She'll show it to you if you like.

100.) TA-DA!

Miku produced her diploma. Everyone oohed and aahed.

''Now... who's next?''

''Oh, brother.''


	2. Shion Kaito: Vampire and Statue

**Thank you all for sticking around to read my dumb little crackfic! ^^ This chapter we'll do... Um... Kaito! Yay! Because we can! I OWN NOTHING.**

* * *

1.) Kaito's last name (Shion) isn't official.

''Hey! At least greet the readers!'' To-chi scowled.  
''Okay, okay, fine. Hi. Happy?'' Rin sulked.

2.) In the Shion family there is Kaito, Akaito, Kikaito, Mokaito, Nigaito, Taito, Zeito, Kageito, Kaiko, Akaiko, Kikaiko, Taiko, and Nigaiko.

3.) That's a lot of kids.

4.) Kaito's parents must have a lot of trouble with them.

5.) They probably forget their names.

6.) Poor Kaito.

7.) He's lonely.

8.) Mister Lonely.

9.) He has nobody.

''Len, don't you start.''

10.) He loves ice cream.

11.) When he gets home his wife pretends to be dead.

12.) And he looks forward to it...?

13.) Oh, he's a gummy bear.

14.) Yes he's a gummy bear.

15.) Oh he's a yummy tummy funny lucky gummy bear.

16.) He's a jelly bear.

17.) Cause he's a gummy bear.

18.) He's a moving grooving jiving singing gum

Gumi was dragged off the computer before she could finish the 'fact'.

19.) He always feels like, somebody's watching him!

20.) And with good reason.

21.) Rin.

''What?'' Rin said indignantly, quickly throwing her telescope out of the window.

22.) He is a vampire.

''WHAT?!''  
''It's true, I swear it is!'' IA declared.

23.) Being a vampire means he likes to run around in a cape and drink people's blood.

24.) And in the daylight he turns to dust.

''THAT'S A LIE!'' To-chi had the weapon poised once again.  
''You and your goddamn harisen!'' IA complained, mooching off.

25.) He's keyoooot! ~

''Miku-senpai, spare me.''

26.) Rin's telescope just landed on Piko's head.

Everyone looked out the window to see a tiny dot moving about frantically.

''DAMN YOU ALL!'' he yelled at them.

''Gee, I wonder what he's saying,'' Gumi pondered.

27.) Kaito's bringing sexy back!

28.) He's bringing sexy back!

''Why did you type that twice, Miku-senpai?''  
29.) Cause.

30.) Of.

31.) _Emphasis._

32.) HE'S BRINGING SEXY BACK!

''All right, all right, you don't have to say it again!''

33.) Kaito goes yandere for Master.

34.) And he kills Meiko. And Miku. And Rin. And Len. ...And basically all the other vocaloids.

35.) Master don't care!

36.) He love it! x3

''STOP!''

37.) Master is a creep.

**''OH. NO. YOU. DIDN'T!'' **everyone collectively gasped at Kaito's sudden rudeness. Wait, when did he get there anyway?

38.) Oh yes I did.

39.) Oh no you didn't.

40.) Oh yes I did.

41.) Oh no you didn't.

42.) Oh yes I did.

43.) Oh no you didn't.

44.) Oh yes I did.

45.) Oh yes you did.

46.) Oh no I didn't- DAMN IT!

47.) I'm so over him anyway.

48.) Oh yeah? What about the time you were a yandere _rabbit _for Master?

49.) Ehehe... Old habits die hard.

50.) Kaito is the cutest yandere rabbit ever.

And with that, you can consider the matter of yandere rabbits closed.

51.) Kaito has a Badass Scarf of Asskicking.

52.) HIS SCARF KICKS ASS!

53.) He's Gakupo's MBFF.

''What's a MBFF?''

''Manly Best Friends Forever!''

54.) Kaito excels at making Extremely Lame Puns.

55.) He loves ice cream.

56.) YOU SCREAM I SCREAM WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!

57.) He likes every kind of ice cream.

58.) Except invisible ice cream.

59.) Invisible ice cream makes him CRY.

60.) Because it's not really _there_.

''I think we've established that.''

61.) Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a beautiful young girl who lived with her cruel stepmother and-

''Hey-''

''SHUT YOUR TRAP TO-CHI WE'RE READING _CINDERELLA_!''

62.) Kaito does not like _Cinderella_.

63.) He prefers _Sleeping Beauty._

''WHAT'S WRONG WITH CINDERELLA?!''

''Calm down Len.''

64.) There's a knock at the door.

Everyone turned round to open the door. Teto peered through the keyhole.

''Oh crap it's Piko come for revenge.''

Rin promptly dragged a chair over to the door, blocking Piko's entrance.

65.) Piko is pissed.

66.) Piko + pissed = Picasso?

''HOW THE HELL DOES THAT ADD UP?!'' To-chi hit IA's head hard with the harisen.

67.) Imagine if Kaito had a Shiteyanyo.

68.) It would be called 'Aoyanyo'!

''Please, do not bring Shiteyanyo into this conversation.''

69.) Hehe.

''What?''

''Nothing.''

70.) He's 13 years old.

71.) LIES LIES LIES!

72.) The ice-cream is a lie.

73.) Dramatic gasps from the crowd.

''NOOOOOOOOoooooooooo...''

74.) He's a cool guy.

75.) Cool guys don't look at explosions.

76.) They blow things up and then walk away.

77.) Who's got time to watch an explosion?

78.) Gumi is now dead.

Gumi lay on the floor in a random pool of blood.

79.) The first question is, why was she in her room, drinking a poisoned bottle of wine?

''What the heck are you talking about Len?''

80.) Kaito's awesome.

''Oh, we're just moving right on from Gumi's death, is that it?''

81.) I told you, we're not heartless, we're strong.

82.) She will be resurrected next chapter anyway.

''Still...'' To-chi looked mournful whilst everyone else had a complete troll face on.

83.) He is a statue.

''I thought he was a vampire?''

84.) Not anymore. That was 60 things ago. Get your facts right.

85.) And he is also a werewolf.

86.) Being Kaito sucks.

87.) Life gave him lemons.

88.) And he said:

89.) ''When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons; what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Kaito Shion lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down... with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!'**"**

''I never said that!'' Kaito cried.

90.) Oh yes you did!

91.) Oh no I didn't!

92.) SHUT UP BEFORE THIS GOES ON ANY LONGER!

93.) THIS IS NOT A PANTOMIME!

94.) ...

95.) It isn't?

It's a little hard to describe what happened next, but let's just say it involved Neru getting thrown into space.

96.) Neru is friends with Wheatley now.

97.) Neru can't breathe.

98.) Neru died.

99.) Amen.

100.) Amen.

''How many people are gonna DIE in this dumb fic?!''


	3. Kagamine Rin and Len: Thrill Seekers?

**Hello, everyone! ^^ Thank you for all your support. This chapter, I'm gonna do Rin and Len! :D**

**Sorry it took so long .**

* * *

''Hello people... yeah, that's it...'' Neru (who had been resurrected, as had Gumi) was finding it difficult to speak, as she hadn't spoken in 900 years. ''Take it away Hatsune...''

1.) Rin-chan now!

2.) Rin-chan now!

3.) Rin-chan Rin-chan Rin-chan now!

4.) Rin-chan now!

5.) Rin-chan now!

6.) Rin-chan Rin-chan Rin-chan now!

''Please, someone else take over,'' Rin begged. Tei randomly appeared, shoved Rin off the spinny chair and sat down.

7.) Len-kun now!

8.) Len-kun now!

9.) Len-kun Len-kun Len-kun now!

''I MEANT AND WRITE SOMETHING DIFFERENT!''

10.) If Rin-chan was a magical girl, she'd be called MagicaRin.

11.) Magic Clean!

''I'm a cleaning device now?'' Rin said, unimpressed.

12.) Len has a butterfly on his left shoulder.

''Wait wha?''

13.) RIN IS LEN'S MIRROR IMAGE.

Everyone looked outraged that someone had wrote something true.

14.) Rin likes Bon Jovi.

15.) Len likes Michael Jackson.

16.) THRILLER!

17.) THRILLER NIGHT!

18.) Rin likes horror movies, and forces Len to watch them with her.

19.) Len gets scared and hides his face in the popcorn.

20.) Or maybe he just likes popcorn so much he buries his face in it every time he buys a box.

21.) Who knows.

22.) Rin likes frogs.

23.) Len likes dogs.

24.) Frogs and Snails and Puppy Dogs' Tails, that's what little boys are made of!

"Says who?" To-chi rolled her eyes.

25.) Len is a detective.

26.) Rin is a murderer.

27.) Or is it the other way around?

28.) Len is an adorable shota.

"NO, I AM NOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTT!" Len raged, fists blazing, ready to beat Tei to a pulp.

30.) A butterfly specimen or some honey? (I doubt anyone will know this song but whatevs)

31.) Jack the Ripper or a jack-o-lantern?

32.) Well? What do you wish?

33.) Trick or treat?

33.) Go ahead and pick, whatever you wish!

"Um... treat!" Kaito said, appearing out of nowhere.

"As you wish!" Rin yelled, devouring Kaito in one bite.

"Was that really necessary, Rin?" Gumi frowned.

"Treat's a trap! I choose Trick!" Teto declared.

"As you wish!" Len stabbed Teto.

"DAMMIT STOP KILLING THE CAST!"

34.) Nee naw nee naw nee naw nee naw!

"What's that noise?" asked Miku.

"YOU'RE ALL ARRESTED FOR MURDERING PEOPLE!" yelled two policewomen from outside the door, who so happened to be Rion and Aoki.

"YOU WANNA BE NEXT?!" Rin and Len screeched.

"BRING IT HONEYS!" Rion and Aoki screeched back, breaking down the door.

35.) Wham!

36.) Bash!

37.) Pow!

38.) Crash!

39.) IT'S LIKE A BATTLEFIELD! YOU BETTER GO AND GET YOUR ARMOUR!

40.) We have now kidnapped Rion and Aoki, and stuffed them into trunks.

Rion and Aoki took the trunks off.

"NOT THAT KIND OF TRUNK!"

41.) Framboise or a stormy island?

42.) Stick candy or a secret word?

43.) Well, which shall you choose?

44.) Trick or treat?

45.) Go ahead and pick, whatever you wish!

"I PICK-" Meiko began, but with a cry of "THEY'RE BOTH TRAPS!" Luka chucked her out of the window before she could die.

"She's gonna die anyway," IA pointed out.

"Don't worry! GAKUPO TO THE RESCUE!" Gakupo cried. "I WILL CATCH HER!" He got in the lift.

_Lift going down._

"YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET TO HER IN TIME!"

"Don't worry! I have teleportation powers!" Neru said hoarsely, teleporting Meiko back into the room.

"NOW I'M GOING DOWN 1,000,000 FLOORS FOR NOTHING!" Gakupo cried from 2 floors down.

46.) Back to Rin and Len...

47.) Rin likes to drag Len on rollercoasters at Alton Towers.

"Oh yeah!" Rin beamed. "Len, remember that time we queued for an hour on the Smiler and in the end you were too short?"

"SHUT THE HELL UP RIN!"

"All I hear is a shota trying to be manry," Piko appeared from nowhere.

"HOW DID YOU GET HERE?! AND PLUS, YOU'RE SHOTA TOO!"

"Oh yeah. Well since I'm here I might as well right some facts."

48.) Shota!

49.) Shota!

50.) Shota!

"STOP IT!"

51.) OH OH! WE'RE HALFWAY THERE! OH OH! LIVING ON A PRAYER!

"You're too late Rin," Teto said.

"Damn," Rin cursed.

52.) TAKE MY HAND! WE'LL MAKE IT I SWEAR!

53.) But you're still singing?!

54.) Something's strange, in the neighbourhood.

55.) Who you gonna call?

56.) THOSE BASTARDS!

"Gumi, it's 'Ghostbusters', not 'Those bastards'!"

"Really? Well my whole childhood is a lie," Gumi sulked.

57.) I AIN'T AFRAID OF NO GHOST!

"This is supposed to be about Rin and Len, remember?"

58.) RIN AND LEN AIN'T AFRAID OF NO GHOST!

"I am..." Len whispered.

"Eek! Kawaiiiii~" Tei hugged Len.

"Would somebody SHUT HER UP?" Neru said hoarsely.

59.) Tei has been stuffed into the same trunk as Rion and Aoki.

"It's getting a little crowded in here," Rion murmured.

"Ow! You're standing on my foot, Tei!" Aoki complained.

"Sorry."

60.) Larval Rin!

"AS IF SHITEYANYO WASN'T BAD ENOUGH?!" To-chi screamed.

"I take offence at that!" said a voice. The lift opened to reveal Gakupo being choked by Shiteyanyo.

(You can play My Dear Shiteyanyo in the background for effect, if you like.)

"Gaaargh getitoff getitoff getitoff!" he said frantically, stumbling about blindly.

Miku's eyes shone.

61.) I love you Shiteyanyo!

"HOW CAN YOU LOVE THAT THING?!" Teto looked appalled.

62.) Kaito is jealous.

63.) Rin is jealous that Kaito is jealous of Shiteyanyo who is jealous of Miku somehow.

"I think my brain just melted."

"Seriously, will you all stop with the I-Like-Kaito thing? It's getting old."

64.) No.

"Well, as long as you're honest about it I guess."

65.) Can someone get Shiteyanyo out of here?

"We can stuff her in the trunk?"

"Sure."

"GYAAAAAAAAAH!" yelled Tei, Aoki and Rion, climbing out of the trunk and into the lift, beginning their slow escape.

"Great, now lock Shiteyanyo in there and throw her out the window."

"Wha?! I'm lovable, you know!"

"Like hell you are, now die!"

Shiteyanyo was flung out of the window.

"Finally."

66.) Len's favourite movie is _Barbie as Rapunzel._

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT THAT!"

67.) Len looks good in dresses. Specifically, Rin's dresses.

"Is that so... shall we try?" Oliver appeared from nowhere with an evil grin.

"Rin! Gimme the frilliest, girliest dress you have!"

"I'm out of here!" Len cried, but he was restrained by Gakupo.

"Here you are!" Rin beamed, handing Len a cute pink frock.

"...No way."

"Are you forgetting I still have the pictures of the incident where you-" Rin beamed again, maliciously.

"OKAY, FINE! I'LL DO IT! But only if you don't take any pictures!" Len sobbed.

68.) While we're waiting for Len to change, let's sing.

69.) Demo toki ga tateba Dandan imi ga wakatte kita SHOTA tte iu kotoba no imi wo... Sonna me de mitsumenai de... Onee-chan... boku, kowai yo... HEN na me de minai de! Bokura datte rippa na otoko nan da yo!

"I don't even want to know what song you're singing."

70.) And here he comes!

Len emerged in the said cute pink frock.

"GYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" roared Piko and Oliver.

"I also have a cute blue frock and a cute yellow frock..." Rin smirked.

Piko and Oliver shut up.

71.) They've been to space.

72.) When they were in space they started a war with aliens.

73.) Pluto got blown up, and that's why it's not a planet anymore!

"And we didn't know about this _how?_"

74.) Len can play the piano.

75.) Let him play the piano!

"We don't _have _a piano!"

76.) Then let him play the oboe!

"We don't have an oboe either!"

77.) A harp?

"Nope."

78.) Drums?

"Nope."

79.) Not even a tiddly little recorder?

"NO!"

80.) Don't look out the window.

Everyone rushed to the window.

Shiteyanyo was climbing up the wall with Tako Luka on her back.

"What the..."

81.) Weeeeeell, that wasn't disturbing. Back to Rin and Len.

82.) I hate Rin.

83.) Rin will die.

"What's up with you all of a sudden, Kaito?" Miku asked.

"Hold on a second, didn't you die like 50 facts ago?" Rin murmured.

"Hehehe, of course not..." Kaito smirked with the air of a mass murderer who was going to kill someone.

84.) Tea break!

All of a sudden, everyone was sitting in a rose garden drinking tea.

"WHAT THE HELL?! WHERE'D THE FLAT GO?!" Teto demanded.

"I bet this is the work of Oliver!" Gumi hissed.

Oliver looked suspiciously composed as he made even more tea.

"YOU'RE SOME KIND OF WIZARD, AREN'T YOU?!" Len demanded, attacking Oliver with a random sword he had on hand. Luckily Oliver had his own sword, and continued to make tea whilst battling.

"You found me out, hm?" he smiled mischeviously.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Len yelled, because he hates wizards for some reason.

85.) Len is mean.

"DIE, YOU CHARLATAN!"

"One lump or two, Kagamine-san~?"

86.) Okay, tea break is over.

They all appeared back in the flat.

"Let us never speak of this again."

"Agreed."

87.) Karaoke time!

"Whaaat?! Why?!"

"Rin, take it away!"

88.) Doko made tsui te mawaru otona no me  
shitagi mitai ni tsuke te nakya asobi ni ike nai no?

89.) Hitori de pantsu nugeru mon! Pantsu nugeru mon! Pantsu nugeru mon ne!

"Don't you dare or we'll shove you in the closet!"

"Okay, let's quickly move on before this gets out of hand... Gumi!"

89.) Airashii petto no kuwagata to Jareteita dake nano ni nani ga okita no Panikku o okoshita watashi wa nando mo Kuwagata ni choppu shi tsudzuketa!

"WHY ARE WE ALL SINGING WEIRD SONGS?! Miku, restore my faith in humanity. Please."

90.) Koufuku na no wa gimu na'n desu koufuku na no wa gimu na'n desu koufuku na no wa gimu na'n desu. Shiawase desu ka? Gimu desu yo?

"GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

91.) No more singing.

"But-"

92.) NO. MORE. SINGING.

"You meanie!"

93.) Fine... just for this chapter, stop singing.

"Okay Tochi-neechan "

94.) Oliver is a wizard.

"I thought we resolved all that?"

95.) No. It can't be.

96.) I WON'T LET IT BE!

"Len is sure getting worked up about this," Gakupo observed.

"Shut up about that already." To-chi smacked Len on the head with the harisen 50 times over.

97.) Okay, Len is calm now.

"That blow from the harisen cured your anger?!"

"Yup!"

98.) Harisens can cure anger, apparently.

99.) We interrupt this fanfiction to tell you that, under no circumstances should you actually hit someone with a harisen to test this, and X the Ninja will not be responsible if you get injured. Have a pleasant day.

"What the hell was that?"

"Um... IDK?"

100.) Finally, DAH END OF THE RIN/LEN CHAPTER.


	4. Megurine Luka: Free Soul

**Hi there... It's the Luka chapter... And to answer Guest's question, yes, they were singing Shota Shota Island. ^^**

**I own nothing.**

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1.) Screw You Luka Dot Com.

''What kind of shoddy introduction was that?''

2.) Luka has pink hair.

3.) It's cute.

''Gah, get Gakupo off the computer! He's almost as bad as Tei!'' Rin yelled.

''At least I'm not yandere!''

''There's nothing wrong with being yandere!''

4.) Luka is very pretty.

5.) She is very cute.

''I REPEAT: GET GAKUPO OFF THE COMPUTER!''

''What's all the fuss about?'' Luka randomly walked in.

''LUKA HAS ARRIVED! WE MUST TREAD CAREFULLY!''

6.) I have a grudge against Luka.

''_I SAID TREAD CAREFULLY!_''

7.) Luka has an anima libera.

''What does that mean?''

''It means free soul in Italian.''

''Oh, gotcha.''

8.) Luka likes tacos.

9.) TACO LUKA!

''Tacos and tako are different!''

10.) SUSHI LUKA!

11.) QUICHE LUKA!

12.) PIE LUKA!

''Stop it.''

13.) SHE'S SO KAWAII!

''DIE GAKUPO!'' Luka stabbed him with a fork.

''Ooooowwww dammit that huuuuuurt!''

14.) I don't think Gakupo will be making any more facts for some time.

15.) Luka is so annoying, isn't she? Lol!

_CLANG! _

''What was that?'' asked Len.

''Oh, it's only Calne Ca climbing into the room~'' Miku giggled.

''ONLY-?!''

''SHUT UP! I'm sick of imbeciles like you ruining my life!'' Calne Ca yelled.

''Would you stick around for tea, Ca-san?'' Oliver said ever so politely.

''Ok... sure...'' Calne sat down and the chair broke.

16.) Luka Luka Night Fever!

17.) WOOHOO!

''Oh my sims did that once-''

''Too much information Teto.''

18.) Luka is good at making clothes. She's a tailor.

''DOUBLE FACT ALERT!'' Gumi squealed, whilst Kaito, Miku, Rin and Meiko prepared to flee.

19.) LukaxGakupo forevaaaah~!

20.) Gakuka or Lukapo?

21.) NEITHER SO SHUT UP!

22.) Luka is 30.

''WHAT?!''

13.) I don't know! She looks 30!

14.) I do not!

''Luka! You're not allowed to write facts about yourself!'' Oliver scolded as he handed out tea to everyone. Calne Ca absentmindedly broke the cup.

15.) Luka is secretly Gasai Yuno.

''EH?!''

16.) Just kidding.

''You scared me for a second...''

''I HEARD MEH BESTIE'S NAME, AND NOW I'M HERE!'' Mayu suddenly stepped out of the elevator.

''You're best friends with Yuno?!''

''They are both yandere...''

''WHY DOES THIS FIC REVOLVE AROUND YANDERES?!''

''I'll just be over here, fixing the fourth wall...'' Len said quietly.

17.) LET'S GO TO THE BEACH! BEACH! LET'S GO GET AWAY!

All of a sudden, they were on a beach.

''Oliver!'' Len raged.

''It wasn't me this time!'' Oliver said defensively.

''Then who was it?!''

''It was Mayu!'' Teto pointed at Mayu who was whistling _Chimidoro Switch_ suspiciously.

18.) Mayu is a witch!

19.) _Witch Hunt _ensues.

''UuuuWAAAAhhhHAAaaaa!'' Gumi wailed, flooding the beach with tears.

''CALM DOWN, GUMI!''

20.) If you think _Witch Hunt _is sad, try _Servant of Evil!_

''You're biased because it's your song!'' Luka accused Len.

21.) What about _Reboot_?

Gumi promptly drowned in her own tears.

''_S-Shirokuro no... waaah... butai kara... hic... denshi no yume wo m-miteru_...'' Miku hiccupped.

_''SHIROKURO BAKU! A~AAH_!'' Len screamed, trying to stop anyone else from drowning.

22.) Actually, I find you're all wrong. The saddest song is _Bacterial Contamination._

''YOU DON'T GET A SAY IN IT, DAMN AUTHOR!'' To-chi yelled to the heavens.

This time, Calne Ca burst into tears. ''Someone... understands...''

''There, there, Calne-chan, give me a hug,'' Teto said, glomping her. IA looked jealous.

23.) We're back at the flat... not that anyone noticed.

''We are?'' Rin frowned. ''Huh. Weird.''

34.) Don't go breaking Luka's heart.

25.) I bet you didn't notice the number on the last fact was wrong.

''How devilish,'' Neru smirked.

''Why thank you, Neru,'' Miku nodded.

26.) _SUICCHI wo oshita no wa, __watashi de wa nai no desu..._

Everyone frowned at Mayu. Mayu fell silent.

27.) OMG! I just saved this and there was 666 words!

''IT'S A SATANIC OMEN!''

''_Oshiro__ wa utaimasu, boku to issho ni utaimasu_!''

''OH MY GOD RIN YOU'RE NOT HELPING!''

28.) Rin-chan now!

29.) No.

30.) Ok. :(

31.) Luka is a tailor.

''You said that already, IA.''

32.) She owns the tailor shop on Enbizaka.

''Hey, Miku, Meiko, Rin?'' asked Kaito.

''Yeah?''

''Don't talk to me. Ever.''

33.) _W__atashi wa warukunai!_

''I still suspect you of that beach incident Mayu,'' Teto said.

''Lalalalalala I'm not listening!''

34.) _Repent! Repent!_

''ENOUGH WITH THE _WITCH HUNT _ALREADY!''

''No.'' Rin said as she tied Luka to a cross.

''I guess the 'tread carefully' has gone right out the window?'' To-chi sighed.

35.) She's over my head!

36.) I'm out of my mind!

''SHUT UP GAKUPO!''

37.) We shall now kill the witch.

''We can't kill her! We're not even halfway through her chapter!''

38.) Oh well.

''Don't you 'oh well' me!''

39.) Luka wears blue suede shoes.

40.) Oh, look, a bomb.

''Eh? Ah, crap.''

**BOOM.**

The world went on fire! Buildings collapsed! AND STUFF LIKE THAT!

42.) FLY HIIIIIIGH AND LET ME GO!

Luka looked pointedly at Miku. Miku released her from her bonds.

''Let's take refuge on the roof!'' Teto suggested. They grabbed the computer and ran up to the rooftop.

43.) We're probably going to die, what shall we do?

''Shall we dance?'' Miku offered Luka her hand.

''Shall we dance?'' Rin offered Len her hand.

''Shall we dance?'' Gumi offered Teto her hand.

''Shall we dance?'' Oliver offered To-chi his hand.

''Shall we dance?'' Calne Ca offered Neru her hand.

''Shall we dance?'' Mayu offered both Kaito and Gakupo her hand.

''...'' Nobody offered IA their hand.

''The world is our dancehall!'' they all shouted.

''You don't mean-'' Luka, Len, Teto, To-chi, Neru, Kaito and Gakupo collectively gasped.

44.) _Hoppu, suteppu, de odorou ka, sekai no sumikko de wan-tsuu!_

Everyone proceeded to twirl around and dance on the roof as the flat burned.

45.) _Chotto, kuratto, shisou ni naru, shuumatsukan o tanoshinde!_

''SAYONARA BITCHES!'' yelled Miku, jumping off the building.

''MIKU-SENPAI! OH GOD ARE YOU OKAY?!''

Gumi looked over the edge, and raised her eyebrows.

''No need to worry, she's floating down with a leek-shaped parachute.''

''That sounds like the Miku-senpai I know...''

46.) Um, guys? Even if Miku's still alive, we soon won't be.

''Let's stay up here a little while. It'll take a while for the flat to burn.''

47.) AND WE'RE GONNA LET IT BURN, BURN, BURN, BURN!

48.) WE'RE GONNA LET IT BURN, BURN, BURN, BURN!

''That joke was cruel and in bad taste.''

It was harisen time for Len.

Bonk.

49.) So much has happened in the space of 50 facts.

50.) OH, OH! WE'RE HALFWAY THERE!

''Again Rin?''

51.) Luka has swag.

52.) She's gonna pop some tags!

53.) She's only got 20 dollars in her pocket!

''Aren't we in Japan though?''

''Weeeellllll... yes.''

54.) I feel lonely.

''WHO TYPED THAT?! TELL ME SO I CAN GIVE THEM A HUG!'' Teto's eyes brimmed with tears.

55.) THIS FLAT IS ON FAYAR! THIS FLAT IS ON FAYAAAAARARARARAAAAHAH?

''Do you reckon we should escape now?'' Rin looked nervously at the burning flat.

''There's only one choice- we'll have to INVOKE OUR INNER PARACHUTE!'' Gakupo declared.

''Ummmm... what?'' Luka frowned.

''All you have to do is press your model number!''

''SERIOUSLY?!''

Rin and Len pressed theirs at the same time and a parachute opened from their backs.

''Wow.''

Everyone else pressed theirs and opened the parachute. Well, the Cryptonloids did at least, and the others had to latch onto them.

''You're squishing me IA-san.'' To-chi complained.

''Shut up and jump.''

''Ready, everyone?'' Kaito gulped, hugging the computer to his chest.

''3...2...1...!''

Before they could change their minds, they jumped off the flaming building in a moment of awesomeness.

56.) This scene is particularly awesome, and don't you dare say otherwise.

57.) Or it would have been, if it had not been spoiled by Calne Ca singing _Skyway Avenue_ really loudly whilst Mayu could be heard faintly humming _Chimidoro Switch _in the background.

''WHEEEE! WOOHOOOOO!''

''Oh, my sims-''

''SHUT THE HELL UP TETO!''

58.) We have landed!

''Is everyone alive?''

''Yep. Oh, should we get someone to rebuild the flat.''

A very pissed looking Haku showed up randomly. ''I had better be getting paid for this.''

_AGES LATER_

59.) We have a shiny, new flat!

''Let's get to the top floor!''

''Why do we always have to be on the top floor?! It's so inconvenient!''

_999,999 FLOORS LATER_

60.) That was quite an adventure.

61.) Ding!

''What was that?''

A blue haired person arrived in the elevator.

''Miku-senpai?! You cut off all your hair!'' To-chi gasped.

''To-chi, that's not Miku!'' Kaito said.

''How can you tell?''

''Look closely; he doesn't have boobs!''

Bonk.

''Looks at you, pretending to be me...'' Miku suddenly flew in through the window with her parachute.

''Eh?! This is-''

''I-IT'S MIKUO!''

Mikuo nodded.

''But why?''

62.) We, the genderbends, will kill all of you original vocaloids (and Utau in Teto's case) so that we can become real!

''This is madness!'' Len backed away.

''Madness, Len?'' Rin grinned. ''THIS. IS. SPARTAAAAAA!''

''So you are going to wage war on us?'' asked Mikuo.

''Ehh?! War?!''

''YES, we are!''

''HEY, EVERYONE! I HAVE A GOOD NAME FOR THIS SITUATION!''

''What is it Oliver?''

63.) DECLARE WAR ON ALL GENDERBEND!

More of the genderbends arrived.

''I WILL SUCK OUT YOUR SOUL!'' Gumiya yelled, strangling Gumi. He was silenced by Rin hitting his head with a frying pan, and fell on the floor unconscious.

Luki was quickly tied to a cross. He looked longingly at the sky.

''NOBODY WOULD NOTICE IF I REPLACED YOU!'' yelled To-kun.

''Uhhh... who the hell are you?''

''He's my genderbend, isn't it obvious?'' To-chi sweatdropped. ''I didn't even know he existed until now.''

''THAT'S BECAUSE I DIDN'T EXIST UNTIL NOW!''

''SHUT UP!''

Bonk.

Oliver was using a spell to keep Olivia away.

Calne Ca was protecting Teto from Ted.

Rinto and Lenka, however, just sat down on the bench and watched Madoka Magica.

''NOOOOO!'' Olivia suddenly yelled. ''MAMI LOOKS LIKE ME!''

''THE HELL IS MAMI?!''

64.) IA has been knocked unconscious.

Everyone glared at IO, even the genderbends.

''How dare you knock a lady unconscious,'' Kaiko scowled. Gakuko nodded.

''GET OUT! GET OUT! ALL OF YOU!''

65.) The genderbends have left the building!

66.) Finally.

''They were somewhat of a pain, weren't they?''

''_Somewhat_?''

67.) Okay, a lot of a pain.

''That's better.''

68.) Somewhere along the way, we stopped writing facts about Luka...

69.) Hehe.

''What is it?''

''Nothing.''

70.) Wait, Rinto and Lenka are still here!

''Please let us stay! We're not causing any trouble!'' Rinto begged.

''Yeah, all we're doing is watching Clannad: After Story!'' Lenka added.

''Weren't you watching Madoka Magica?''

''We finished that ages ago! And shut up, it's at the sad bit!''

''NOOOOOOO!'' Gumi suddenly burst into tears. ''How could you die, little-''

''NO SPOILERS, GUMI!''

71.) Gumi is a closet otaku.

72.) WE'RE NOT WRITING ABOUT GUMI! WE'RE WRITING ABOUT LUKA!

73.) Luka is a circus monster.

74.) She was not in the Dark Woods Circus.

75.) Lucky...

76.) But she _was _in Rotten Girl Grotesque Romance... as the girlfriend Miku murdered.

76.) And she _was _in Witch Hunt... as the witch Miku murdered.

77.) And she _was _in Scissorloid... as herself, whom Miku _tried _to murder.

''I'm spotting a pattern here.''

Miku held her knife behind her back.

78.) She likes to move it, move it!

79.) She likes to move it, move it!

80.) She likes to move it, move it!

81.) She likes to... MOVE IT!

82.) She believes she can fly!

83.) She believes she can touch the sky!

84.) She thinks about it every night and day!

85.) Spreads her wings and flies away!

''I do not have wings.''

''Or do you?''

86.) Luka's favourite holiday destination is Brazil.

87.) She goes there and dances the conga, and all the locals are like ''What the hell? Nobody actually does that here.''

88.) SHE HAD THEM APPLE BOTTOM JEANS

''Jeans!''

89.) AND THE BOOTS WITH THE FUR

''With the fur!''

90.) THE WHOLE CLUB WAS LOOKIN AT HER

91.) SHE HIT THE FLOOR!

''Hit the floor!''

92.) NEXT THING YOU KNOW SHE GOT LOW,

93.) LOW

94.) LOW

95.) LOW

96.) LOW

97.) LOW

98.) LOW

99.) LOW

100.) AND ANOTHER 'LOW' FOR GOOD MEASURE!

''Hurrah!''


	5. Kamui Gakupo: Three-Eyed Alien

**Hehe, I started the next chapter right away :D**

**And by the way, the chapters will go Girl, Boy, Girl, Boy ect.**

* * *

The next list took place on a dark and stormy night...

1.) It's Gakupo's list!

''YAY!'' cheered Gakupo.

2.) Gakupo has a thing for cosplay.

3.) Gakupo loves Luka.

4.) This list is boring.

''EH?! HOW DARE YOU, TETO?!'' Miku strangled Teto.

''IT'S TRUE THOUGH!'' Teto yelled.

''KNOCK IT OFF, BOTH OF YOU!'' Len threw a banana at their heads.

5.) Gakkun Now!

6.) Gakkun Now!

7.) Gakkun Gakkun Gakkun Now!

''NOOOOOOO!'' screamed the newly nicknamed Gakkun.

''Now you know how I feel,'' Rin rolled her eyes.

8.) Gakkun is an extraterrestrial.

''He's a _what_?''

9.) An alien.

10.) Ooooh.

''Wait, WHAT?!'' everyone yelled.

Gakkun hid his third eye with his fringe.

''NOOOOO! I DON'T LIKE ALIENS EITHER!'' Len bellowed, drawing his sword again.

''I'M FED UP WITH THIS, KAGAMINE-SAN!'' Oliver said, losing it. ''THE WIZARD, THE WITCH AND THE ALIEN WILL BAND TOGETHER TO STOP YOU!''

11.) That sounds like the name of a book.

12.) A crappy book that _totally wasn't _copied off The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

13.) Sarcasm.

''We will not have sacrasm in this house!'' Miku declared.

''WHAT IS SACRASM?!''

14.) Len is annoying.

''NOOOOOO-! I CAN'T BE ANNOYING!'' Len wailed. ''I DON'T WANT TO STAY WITH YOU GUYS ANYMORE!''

15.) Len is really annoying.

''Stop that, Miku! He's not that bad!''

16.) Okay, I'll have Len then~

Tei was suddenly there, dragging Len away.

Gumi gasped. ''SHE'S TAKING THE HOBBIT TO ISENGARD!''

17.) Gakkun's feet smell.

''THEY DO NOT!'' Gakkun roared indignantly as he battled with Tei to drag Len back.

18.) Gakkun always wears odd socks.

19.) It makes him look weird.

''You got a problem with that?!''

20.) Gakkun is a yakuza.

21.) HE CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL!

''Ah, yes,'' Luka nodded, smiling fondly as she remembered Gakkun smashing through the walls of the house.

''Quite literally, then?''

''Yup.''

22.) Bzzzzz, bzzzzz.

''The TV isn't working!'' Rinto complained as he and Lenka flipped channels.

''WHAT DID YOU EXPECT, THERE'S A FLIPPIN' THUNDERSTORM OUTSIDE! WAIT - YOU'RE STILL HERE?!''

23.) It appears that Rinto and Lenka shall stick around for a while.

''Is that good or bad?''

24.) A bit of both.

''I see.''

25.) YAI YAI YAI YAI!

''Miku, take that dreadful mask off.''

''NO! I WON'T!'' Miku danced around the room in defiance, painting eyes on her hands.

All of a sudden, there was a crash of thunder.

''MIKU! THE THUNDER GOD IS PUNISHING YOU!''

''WELL, THE THUNDER GOD CAN KISS MY ASS!''

25.) Danger! Danger!

26.) High voltage!

27.) It's a stereotypical thunderstorm, and you know what that means?

''Avoid telephone poles?'' Gumi suggested.

''NO, WE SHOULD CONTACT THE DEAD!'' Rin yelled.

''YAAAAAAY - WAIT, HUH?''

Rin set up an Ouija board.

''Repeat after me, everyone: Dead ones, hear us now.''

''Dead ones, hear us now.''

''If you have something to say, say it.''

''If you have something to say, say it.''

''Ari ori haberi imasokari.''

''Ari ori haberi imasokari.''

''Everyone, do you like your teacher?''

''This is getting ridiculous.''

28.) Nothing happened.

''Oh, maybe it's because we didn't turn the light out and sit at a round table?'' asked Len.

''Okay, we'll pretend this last bit never happened and try again,'' Rin nodded, turning off the lights and pulling a random circular table into the middle of the room. Everyone promptly took their seats, falling over each other in the dark.

''Repeat after me, everyone: Dead ones, hear us now.''

''Dead ones, hear us now.''

''If you have something to say, say it.''

''If you have something to say, say it.''

''Ari ori haberi imasokari.''

''Ari ori haberi imasokari.''

''Everyone, do you like your teacher?''

''This is getting ridiculous.''

All of a sudden, a wisp of red popped up.

The wisp turned into the faint, flickering image of a woman who looked sorta like Meiko.

''It's the first Alice!'' Meiko yelled excitedly. The Alice meekly bowed to her and disappeared, as if to say, ''Thank you for telling my story.''

Everyone was quiet for a while, thoughtful.

A wisp of blue popped up, and everyone watched it intently.

The wisp turned into the faint, flickering image of-

''SHITEYANYO! AAAARGHHH GETITAWAY GETITAWAY GETITAWAY!''

''THIS ENDS NOW!'' Kaito snapped, switching the lights back on again. Shiteyanyo disappeared like the Alice before her.

''Rin, put that Ouija board in the bin, right now.''

''I'm on it, Gakkun.''

29.) We can now conclude what shall be known forevermore as the Creepy-as-Hell incident.

Rinto and Lenka stared at the TV, zoned.

''Ummm... are you guys okay?''

''WE _WERE_ OKAY UNTIL THE TV GOT CUT OFF! WE WERE HAVING A GREAT TIME WATCHING PRETTY CURE!''

''Okay... just... chill...''

30.) HEEEEEEYYYYY SEXY LADY!

31.) OPPAN GANGNAM STYLE!

''Dis is meh jam!'' IA giggled, doing the Gangnam Style dance along with everyone else.

Lenka pulled out the plug for the radio. ''IF I CAN'T HAVE FUN, WHY SHOULD ANYONE ELSE?''

''PARTY POOPER!'' IA growled at Lenka, shoving him... her? I don't know anymore... into a closet.

And locking the closet.

32.) Gakkun likes to cosplay...

34.) As Iroha Nekomura!

''I WILL NOT HAVE THIS!'' Luka screamed in indignation, chasing him around the room with a katana.

35.) Luka should take a chill pill.

36.) Sister.

37.) Hey I just met you.

38.) And this is crazy!

39.) But here's my number!

40.) So call me-

''I DON'T WANT TO CALL YOU, MIKU, NOT WHILE YOU HAVE THAT CREEPY MASK ON!''

''OH COME ON! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE CREEPY!''

41.) Gakkun cannot tie his shoelaces.

42.) That's why he wears boots.

''You swore not to tell!'' Gakkun sobbed.

''Hey, I can't tie my shoelaces either,'' Teto said consolingly.

43.) Teto is very nice.

44.) She is kind to everyone.

45.) Except Shiteyanyo.

''LOOK, KAITO, SHITEYANYO HAS THE WORD 'SHIT' IN IT!'' Len said happily.

''GAKUPO! YOU ARE NOT BEING A SUITABLE ROLE MODEL FOR MY SON SLASH YOUNGER BROTHER SLASH GUY I TAKE UNDER MY WING THING!'' Kaito yelled. ''I HOPE YOU'RE PROUD OF YOURSELF!''

Gakupo looked exceedingly proud of himself.

46.) Gakupo is not a good role model.

47.) Don't grow up to be like Gakupo, kids.

''We won't, Kaito-san!'' the kids chorused happily.

48.) Rinto and Lenka shouldn't exist.

''That is so mean, Gumi!'' Rinto cried.

49.) No, it's a fact. Rin and Len shouldn't have genderbends because they're genderbends of themselves.

50.) ...Kind of.

51.) Shouldn't Rin be screaming Bon Jovi right about now?

''Oh well, I'm too late now.''

53.) You're giving up our running gag? Just like that?

''Yup, _deal with it._''

''Oh Rin. You're so cruel.''

54.) Let's eat popcorn!

''I like popcorn.'' To-chi said quietly.

''I don't.'' Luka sniffed.

''OMG YOU DON'T LIKE POPCORN?!'' everyone else bellowed.

''IT TASTES LIKE TASTLESS WHEAT CRACKERS!''

''Oh No You Di'int!''

55.) NARWHALS, NARWHALS!

56.) SWIMMIN' IN THE OCEAN!

57.) CAUSING A COMMOTION!

58.) CAUSE THEY ARE SO AWESOME!

''Teto, stop.''

59.) Hello.

60.) How are you, Gumi?

''I'm fine, thanks very much.''

61.) Really? Because your hair is on fire.

''GAAAAH!'' Gumi ran around in circles frantically until Oliver poured a bucket of water over her head.

''GAAAAAAAAAAAH! C-C-COLD!''

Oliver looked crafty.

62.) Gakkun likes to dance.

63.) Everyday he's shuffling!

''PARTY ROCK IS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT!''

64.) Everybody gon have a good time!

''I don't like this song,'' came the muffled voice of Lenka from inside the closet.

''Oh shut up you.''

65.) Gakkun holds the world record for the biggest pet jellyfish.

''Whoa, really? Show us!''

Gakupo promptly showed them a picture of aforementioned jellyfish.

66.) It's name is Kyoko Mogami.

''...Should I ask?''

''LOOK! I BROUGHT KYOKO MOGAMI WITH ME!'' declared the samurai, putting the tank on a table.

67.) Maybe you should get a bigger tank.

''Why?''

68.) Because Kyoko Mogami's face is pressed right up against the glass and it's got tears in it's eyes.

''OMIGOD NO! YOU CAN'T CRY BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!'' Teto's heart melted and then reformed and then melted again.

To-chi frowned. ''I'm going to be the only one to question how this jellyfish has eyes, aren't I?''

69.) Hehe.

''OH MY GOD, STOP IT, IA!''

70.) But I can't stop!

71.) And I won't stop!

''HELL YEAH MILEY CYRUS!'' Gakkun and IA high fived and sang a duet of Hoedown Throwdown

72.) ZIGZAG ACROSS THE FLOOR!

73.) SHUFFLE IN DIAGONAL!

Once again, nobody moved an inch apart from Gakkun and IA.

''Dear God, their alliance is going to make us all suffer, isn't it?''

''Yupsie.''

74.) Yupsie is not a word.

''It is now.''

75.) Fair enough.

76.) TRANSPORTATION TIME! AGAIN!

All of a sudden, everyone was sitting in a random hall. Miku had this look on her face that wouldn't look out of place on an insane psychopath.

''NOW! DANCE FOR ME!''

''Eh?'' everyone rolled their eyes at Miku.

''Are you all fulfilling your duty? Are you happy?'' she grinned.

''...I don't know what's going on here, but I think we should do as she says.''

77.) A wise decision indeed.

78.) Yupsie.

79.) _Hai sokushi! Hai sokushi! HOPPU! SUTEPPU! Hai sokushi!_

Everyone danced in anguish. When Rinto missed a step, Miku pressed a switch and he fell through the floor and was never seen since. Until next chapter. Maybe.

80.) I'm just waiting for Mayu to pop up and start singing _Chimidoro Switch._

But she didn't.

Stupid Mayu.

81.) TIME TO GO HOME, ANDY PANDY!

''What kind of going home spell was that, Oliver?''

''An awesome one.''

82.) We're home.

''I thought the last fact made that obvious?''

83.) It didn't specify.

''Oh, kay.''

''I'm just gonna have a snack!'' Miku called out cheerfully.

''HEY! YOU JUST KILLED RINTO!''

''So? Doesn't mean you get to pick on me!''

Everyone was dumbfounded by Miku's Insane Troll Logic.

84.) Gakkun looks like a girl.

85.) AND BEFORE YOU HATE ON ME, I AM JUST STATING A FACT!

86.) HE _DOES _LOOK LIKE A GIRL, YOU CAN'T DENY IT!

''Only in certain pictures,'' Gakupo said, offended.

87.) DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LAY-DEY!

''Oh No You Di'int!''

88.) I so went there.

89.) Troll Face.

''Gumi! How is 'Troll Face' a fact?''

''It just is.''

90.) Gakupo can use words.

''Well, duh?''

91.) I meant to put swords!

''But he can't really use swords that well.''

''I spots a Freudian slip.''

92.) Gakupo's perfect ninja class.

''Oh, yes.''

93.) _BAKA, BAKA!_

94.) _BAKA, BAKA!_

95.) _BAKA, BAKA!_

''I'm not a baka!'' Gakupo lied.

96.) I think Gakupo and VY2 would get along well.

''And why is that, Oliver?''

97.) Cause I said so.

''Well, _that's _a mature answer.

98.) I'm very mature.

''No, you're not.''

''Since I'm mature, I'm going to rise above your idiotic little comments.''

''Grr... what are you, some kind of saint? Come and be immature with us! You'll have more fun!''

99.) Tumbleweed.

100.) Cricket noise.

''Okay, fine. I'll be immature like you guys.''

''YAAAAAY!''


	6. Gumi: Pirate and Yoga Practitioner

**It's been a long time coming, but Gumi gets her moment in the limelight XD**

**I kind of ran out of steam near the end, but please enjoy.**

* * *

On the day of Gumi's list... it happened to be hot and sunny... even though there was a thunderstorm last chapter... VOCALOID LOGIC.

1.) It's Gumi's list.

''Well, we knew that!'' Miku said crossly. ''Write something else!''

''You're such a hypocrite, Miku-senpai!''

2.) Oh, she's a Gumi bear.

3.) Yes, she's a Gumi bear!

4.) She's a moving grooving jiving singing Gumi bear!

''Just like Kaito-san!'' Gumi said proudly.

''WE'RE THE GUMMY BEARS!'' Kaito declared.

5.) Gumi has sunburn.

6.) She goes to regular tanning sessions.

7.) And becomes more sunburnt.

''Y U MAKE FUN OF ME?!'' cried Gumi.

''Y U NO SHUT THE HELL UP?'' retorted Luka.

8.) Gumi likes rum.

''Yes! Can I have some rum?'' asked Gumi cheerfully.

''The rum is gone,'' explained To-chi.

Gumi frowned.

''Why is the rum gone?''

9.) FEELING HOT, HOT, HOT!

''Let's go outside,'' said Oliver.

''Yes, let's swim in the pool,'' Rin nodded eagerly.

''WE HAVE A POOL?!''

''Bitch please, we're rolling in it.''

10.) Commence crowding into elevator.

''Shall we let Lenka out of the closet? Just for now?'' Rinto begged. ''Look, she's crying because she can't watch anime.''

''We'll take the closet with us!''

11.) DING! Lift going down.

''I CAN'T BREATHE!''

''NEITHER CAN I!''

''YOU'RE STANDING ON MY FACE TETO!''

''Sorry... wait, what? How is that even possible?''

After a few more suffocating minutes, they ran outdoors to the garden with the computer and the closet with them.

12.) I'M GROWING PINEAPPLES!

13.) O JUICY PINEAPPLES!

''The way you said that makes it seem like pineapples are holy.''

Everyone turned to Len who had built a pineapple shrine in the garden.

''...''

14.) LET'S ALL JUMP INTO THE POOL! 3, 2, 1!

''WOOHOO!'' they yelled, flinging themselves into said pool.

Surprisingly, Teto decided to keep quiet about her sims.

15.) SPLISHY!

''Come join us, Len!'' demanded Rin as they frolicked in the water.

''No! I'm busy worshipping pineapples!'' Len scowled at her.

16.) Gumi is very good at swimming.

17.) She was a fish in a past life.

18.) SHE'S A LITTLE YELLOW FISH IN A DEEP BLUE SEEEEAAAA!

19.) WON'T SOMEBODY SAVE HER?!

''Ugh... Kaito...'' Sonika groaned.

''WHY ARE YOU HERE?!'' Gakkun yelled.

''What? I want to worship pineapples too!'' she scowled.

20.) Gumi and Sonika are good friends.

21.) Gumi should worship pineapples.

''WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH WORSHIPPING PINEAPPLES?!''

22.) Gumi is a netball champion.

23.) Actually, she's an entire netball team. She clones herself and wins against everyone else.

''Cheater.''

''Excuse me! How am I a cheater?''

''BECAUSE COCONUTS.''

''What do coconuts have to do with anything?''

24.) I think you should all stop obsessing over pineapples.

Everyone turned to Miku.

25.) ...And by my vegetable juice instead!

''AW HELL NAW!'' screamed Rin, fleeing, tripping, and falling into the well.

''What an idiot.''

26.) BAKA BAKA BAKA!

27.) Rin sends her greetings from the bottom of the well.

''Nice.''

28.) Gumi can talk to animals.

29.) If Gumi was an animal, she'd be a dolphin.

30.) It just _seems _right, somehow.

''HEY! YOU LEFT KYOKO MOGAMI BEHIND!'' Gakkun said accusingly.

Kyoko Mogami stared at them through the window, and mouthed 'screw you guys'.

''Aww, it's so cute!"

All of a sudden, a random UTAUloid fell through the sky and landed on the pineapple shrine.

"WHAT DEFOKO?!''

''Oh, I apologize.'' Defoko bowed deeply.

Haku showed up again. ''This is the last time I'm fixing something for free.''

''You mean, we'll have to pay you next time?'' everyone stared at her in horror.

''Yes...?''

''GET OUT OF HERE! WE'LL FIX IT OURSELVES!'' Len cried, flattening Haku with the road roller.

31.) You killed another character.

32.) Thanks, Len.

''WOULD YOU RATHER SHE LEFT US BROKE?!'' Len yelled in Kaito's face.

''WE'RE ALREADY BROKE!'' Kaito yelled back.

''No, we're not~'' said Gakkun cheerfully, opening his wallet.

It was empty.

33.) We _are_ broke.

34.) And that's a fact.

35.) RAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!

''Huh?!''

''Len's going on a rampage!'' Teto said fearfully as Len caused chaos throughout the street, mowing people down with aforementioned roadroller.

''WE HAVE TO STOP HIM!''

''Chase him in this taxi!''

They all squished into a taxi which was being driven by Ritsu.

''I need money,'' said Ritsu.

''Here,'' said Defoko kindly, giving him the cash.

Everyone stared at Defoko. ''You have atoned for your sin of flattening the shrine. You are forgiven.''

''Where to~?''

''AFTER THE RAMPAGING GUY!''

''On it!''

They chased Len up the street, onto the roads, up walls, through pools...

Until Len turned around to face them.

''GUMI! I choose you!'' yelled Miku.

36.) Wild LEN used Kurumi * Ponchio! It's super effective!

''OH GOD MY EARS!'' yelled Gumi.

37.) GUMI fainted!

''Relax bitches. Let me handle this,'' said Ritsu cooly.

38.) RITSU used Attract!

39.) LEN became confused as to RITSU's gender!

40.) LEN hurt itself in its confusion!

41.) LEN fainted!

''...'' Nobody knew what to say.

''Let's take these guys home and get Rin out of the well,'' said Kaito, slinging the two unconscious Vocaloids over his shoulder.

''Agreed.''

They trudged back to the garden to find Lenka had escaped from the closet and was rescuing Rin.

''I promised I'd go on a Bokurano marathon with her if she helped me out,'' Rin admitted.

''Well, it's all over now,'' Oliver nodded contentedly.

''Come to think of it, where's Rinto?''

Rinto waved to them from the top of Mount Fuji.

''...''

42.) Rinto is officially on a hiking trip.

''Good, he needs to get out more.''

''Everyone, let's have a song battle!'' said Luka randomly.

''Huh?'' everyone chorused, except Defoko, who uttered a profound 'no'.

''Why?'' asked Miku.

''_Please do not ask me a~why!_'' Luka burst into song.

''_All of you wants to know me, I think!_'' Gakupo joined in, pushing Luka out of the way.

Everybody just started singing whatever they pleased.

''_Itsudemo I love you, kimi ni taku kisu me-_''

''_-sama! Sou iu atsukai kokoro-ete... yo ne-_''

''_-__gomen ne, watashi kitto dame na ko dakara-_''

43.) MIKU! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TWO SONGS!

IA hit Miku with a frying pan.

44.) RESUME THE BATTLE!

''_Kimi no kimi no kimi no kimi no-_''

''_Shiranai, shiranai, boku wa nani mo shiranai-_''

''_Shineba ii no ni!_''

''SHUT THE HELL UP EVERYONE!'' yelled Defoko.

Everyone paused for a second... before making more noise.

45.) This is a fact.

''No, it's not... or is it?!'' Gumi yelled in anguish. ''You're melting my brain!''

Kaito promptly exploded.

''Wow! This is the second time he's died,'' Luka said, slightly surprised. ''It's a record!''

46.) Knock, knock!

''Who could that be?''

''If it's Rion and Aoki, don't let them in.''

But it wasn't Rion and Aoki.

It was someone else.

''Sorry to bother, but could I possibly stay the night?'' asked a woman wearing a pink wig.

''My, my...'' Luka whispered.

''Wait, it's night?'' frowned IA.

An owl hooted in the distance.

''Come in, dear uninvited guest!'' Rin and Len yelled, and led everyone into the elevator.

47.) _Ding!_

48.) Elevator going up.

AGES LATER...

49.) We've arrived on our floor!

''YAY!''

''So who are you anyway?''

''Call me Mrs. Butterfly. My real name's a _secret._''

''_Tell me now, that you really like the sho-_''

''SHUDDUP!'' Meiko threw a pillow at Luka.

''PILLOW FIGHT-?!''

''No.''

50.) There will be no pillow fight tonight.

51.) I'm sorry for getting your hopes up.

Everyone pouted. ''You better be.''

52.) Anyhow, it's late, so everyone sleep.

53.) Goodnight.

Everyone got into bed and pretended to be asleep while plotting to cause mischief.

54.) VOCALOID BIG BROTHER!

55.) RIN AND LEN ARE SCHEMING.

''Who'd you reckon Mrs Butterfly is?'' whispered Rin.

''How should I know?'' whispered Len.

56.) GUMI IS STILL UNCONSCIOUS.

Gumi did nothing.

57.) LENKA IS WATCHING SAYONARA ZETSUBOU SENSEI ON HER PHONE.

''_Bure bure bure bure_,'' Lenka whispered.

58.) IT IS GETTING VERY LATE.

59.) NERU HAS NOT SPOKEN IN A LONG TIME.

That was because she was asleep.

60.) RIN AND LEN ARE GETTING OUT OF BED.

Rin promptly took off the Mrs Butterfly's wig.

''I-IT'S KYOUKO SAKURA?!''

To-chi hit her over the head with a harisen in her sleep.

''No, my mistake. It's Cul.''

Upon hearing her name, Cul awoke and screamed ''I'VE BEEN DISCOVERED!''

Therefore waking up everyone else.

61.) We will stop the needless declaration of what everyone's doing now.

''Good, it's been getting annoying.''

''Hey, where's Meiko?'' asked Kaito, who had respawned.

Meiko was crashed out on the couch.

''That answers that question.''

62.) Gumi is very good at yoga.

63.) She practices it every day.

Everyone stared at Gumi, who, oddly enough, had roused and was doing yoga.

64.) She is also good at scaring people.

65.) Because she is a gangster.

66.) She loves hot chocolate with marshmallows.

67.) Like the kind Rinto's eating now.

Rinto suddenly appeared in the room.

''My hiking trip is over now,'' he announced proudly.

68.) Gumi is also a pirate.

69.) Hehehe.

''OH MY GOD, IA!''

70.) Obligatory pop song time.

''_MY ANACONDA DON'T!''_ screamed Miku.

''_MY ANACONDA DON'T!'' _added Oliver.

''_My ANACO-'' _Piko was cut off by Luka who was strangling him.

''WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?! WE HAVE TOO MANY UNINVITED GUESTS AS IT IS!''

''I still have that cute blue frock...'' Rin said menacingly.

Piko stayed far away from Rin.

71.) _Piko now!_

72.) _Piko now!_

73.) _Piko Piko Piko now!_

Piko didn't actually care about everyone attempting to wind him up, so they ceased to do it.

74.) WE'RE GOING ON AN ADVENTURE!

''No. No we're not.''

Len looked sad. Meiko gave him some alcohol to compensate.

''MEIKO! HOW DARE YOU TEMPT THE POOR CHILD INTO VICE, YOU FLIBBLEFLANGER!'' Gakkun yelled.

Meiko the Flibbleflanger cried into her sake.

75.) WHAT'S THAT COMING OVER THE HILL?

76.) IS IT A MONSTER?

77.) IS IT A MONSTER?

_''Ki ni naru aitsu wa kaijuu o katteita!''_

Everyone danced randomly.

78.) PARTEH TIME!

''Party or die,'' Miku smiled serenely. Rinto growled at her. ''I-I'm not scared of you!''

79.) Rinto has just impaled Miku with a lance.

''WOO! HER REIGN OF TYRANNY IS OVER!'' Kaito cheered.

''I don't know whether to be happy or sad,'' CUL pondered.

''I HARDLY KNEW HER!'' Piko wept.

''Everyone...'' Neru said in a warning tone. ''Don't look out the window.''

Everyone rushed to look out the window.

Shiteyanyo was climbing up the building.

''NOT AGAIN!''

Shiteyanyo proceeded to enter the room. ''I will avenge her!''

She was silenced as Rin stabbed her with a fork.

''Finally!'' To-chi sighed in relief.

All of a sudden, Shiteyanyo split in two to reveal a ginormous mecha Shiteyanyo (whilst One Winged Angel was played in the background.)

''We're screwed.''

Everybody jumped out the window!

80.) Like a boss.

81.) Everyone lay on the ground, not willing to get up.

But get up they did, because Mecha-Yanyo, as it will now be named, threw itself out the window after them. They hopped in a taxi.

''I NEED MONEY DAMMIT!'' Ritsu yelled.

''I'll pay again,'' said Defoko hurriedly, handing over the cash.

''You're still here, after all this time?!''

''Always.''

82.) Yet another crazy taxi ride!

83.) Oh, what a surprise.

''UGH, STOP THIS ALREADY! I'M SO TIRED OF CHASING YOU!''

84.) Wait, since when could Shiteyanyo speak?

''More facts about Gumi! Quick!''

85.) Gumi wants to buy a pig.

86.) She wants to name it Conchita.

87.) Conchita will be a fantastic boar.

''Isn't Conchita a girls' name?''

''Maybe.''

88.) Hey Defoko!

''Yes?'' Defoko looked up from the manga she was sharing with Cul in the back seat.

89.) Are you related to Yuki Nagato?

''Of course not,'' she lied.

''Sure, we believe you.''

90.) Oh.

91.) Mecha-Yanyo crashed.

''Thank god.''

''Can you get out of my taxi if you're not going anywhere?''

''Where's Teto?''

Teto was in a different taxi being driven by Big Al for some reason. Ritsu glared at them.

92.) _I see you driving round town with the girl I love, and I'm like-_

''GET OUT OF MY DAMN TAXI!''

Everyone was kicked out into the street. It promptly began to rain.

93.) I don't think we've ever had so many changes of scenery in one chapter before.

94.) Wow. You should congratulate us.

...

95.) CONGRATULATE US.

''Don't threaten the readers, now.''

''And there goes the fourth wall... a-gain.''

96.) Gumi is pretty.

''Why thank you,'' said Gumi, eyes sparkling. ''Let me give you a present.'' She produced a small button.

Everyone looked on in Fridge Horror.

97.) It's called the Life Reset Button.

98.) Allow me to demonstrate what it does.

''No!''

99.) I'm pressing it anyway.

100.) DON'T YOU DA-


	7. Meiko: Simply, and Truly, a Drunkard

**Hey, everyone. I was super busy with school and homework and tests and lack of inspiration and being sick so don't be too hard on me and ow my throat ok just read the goddamn chapter.**

* * *

1.) It's Meiko's chapter.

Everyone was recovering from the shock of the explosion that had occurred when Gumi pressed the Life Reset Button.

Oddly enough nobody had died.

2.) Meiko hasn't really done much up until now, has she?

''No, she hasn't,'' Kaito confirmed.

''Well, excuuuuuse me,'' Meiko scowled.

3.) This is probably because she's drunk all the time.

''Not all the time.''

4.) This is because her character item is sake.

5.) This is because-

''WILL YOU QUIT WITH THE 'THIS IS BECAUSE' ALREADY?!''

6.) Meiko is a flibbleflanger.

''Excuse me. What the hell is a flibbleflanger?''

7.) A thing.

''Well, that explains A LOT.'' Gumi sighed.

8.) Meiko's life ambition is to ride a donkey.

9.) How sad.

Everyone lay on the floor in a puddle of tears. ''P-P-P-POOR M-M-ME-MEI-MEIKO!11!1!''

''SHUT UP!'' bellowed Rana.

''WHO ARE YOU?!''

''I'M RANA, DUMBASS!''

10.) Donkeys are donkey-like.

''Well, NO.''

11.) GUYS

12.) GUYS

13.) GUYS

14.) THERE'S A NEW ENGLISH VOCALOID OUT!

''There is?''

''I composed a song for her. Listen,'' Rana said proudly.

15.) HER NAME IS CYBER DIVA

SHE'S AN ELECTRONIC DIVA

SHE LOOKS LIKE LADY GAGA

AND HER FEET SMELL LIKE PIZZA

''Rana what the hell?''

''Shh I'm not done.''

16.) HER NAME IS CYBER DIVA

JUST LIKE ALL VOCALOID DIVAS

SHE'S A YELLOW VOCAL DIVA

SHE IS THE SIMPSONLOID

''Are you quite finished?''

''YES.''

''That was the worst song I've ever heard.''

''AND I WAS LIKE BABY BABY BABY OOOOOOH-''

''I eat my words.''

17.) Cough. MEIKO, guys?

''Oh, right.'' Neru coughed and took over the computer.

18.) COMPUTER is evolving!

19.) Congratulations, your COMPUTER evolved into a iPHONE 12y!

''Is that a thing? I don't like it.'' Luka squinted at it suspiciously.

''Meh, let's use it, what's the worst that could happen?''

20.) Meiko was the first Japanese vocaloid.

21.) She has a derivative called Sakine Meiko.

22.) Who is younger.

23.) And also prettier.

''NOT TRUE!'' Meiko screamed, throwing an empty bottle at Neru, who expertly dodged, and the bottle hit Kaito in the face.

''LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO NERU!''

24.) boooOOOOOOBBBBSSSS

25.) She's unpopular!

''HA HA!''

''Shut up, she has a great voice,'' Teto said protectively.

26.) She sounds great if she's used right!

Miku sulked. ''I haven't got over that time the fans preferred her version of The Snow White Princess Is.''

27.) Miku is a spoilsport.

28.) Don't listen to her.

''OI!''

29.) _NINGYOU AI-_

''No, Gakupo, that's not to do with Meiko.'' Gumi frowned.

Gakupo made a crude hand signal at her.

30.) GAKUPO IS NOT A GOOD ROLE MODEL!

31.) DON'T GROW UP TO BE LIKE GAKUPO, KIDS!

''Feels like deva vu...''

32.) _GAARU DAME DA YO SONNA-_

''I'm warning you, one more time...'' Luka prepared her fork for stabbing.

33.) _OIKAKE MAWASHICHATTE-_

''RIGHT, THAT'S IT!''

Stab.

Pain.

General discontentment for everyone involved.

34.) Gakupo has been sent to hospital.

35.) Not sure how since he is a programme, but anyway.

36.) Let's party!

''Why?''

37.) YOU DON'T NEED A REASON TO PARTY!

''Nah. Why bother?'' Rinto and Lenka droned, not looking away from the screen as BRS kissed the _shit _out of Dead Master.

Okay, maybe that didn't happen.

38.) MEIKO

39.) meiko huZ dut oPpai muHaHaHa

''I think Len's completely lost it,'' Rin looked worried.

''Pff, you think that just happened now?''

40.) meiko

41.) huz

42.) dut

43.) OPPAIIII

''SHUT YOUR FACE LEN!''

44.) MUHAHAHA

''I'M WARNING YOU!''

45.) HUHUHUHU

Kaito kicked Len out the window. Nobody even blinked.

46.) Are you ready for a story, kids?

''OMG LENKA A STORY! OMG!1!11!1!''

47.) K so one time someone posted a miku x kaito picture and there were miku and kaito roleplayers in the comments section

48.) so I tagged meiko

''THAT'S THE EVILEST THING I CAN IMAGINE.''

49.) Why don't we go somewhere?

''Like where, Oliver?''

''LET'S GO TO KFC! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!'' Rin begged.

''BUT KFC IS MILES AWAY WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.''

''WE CAN GET A BUS.''

But there was no bus only Ritsu's crappy taxi.

''Like it or lump it!''

50.) So they all got into the taxi.

''Where the hell did Teto go?''

''She's in Big Al's taxi again.''

Ritsu scowled at the steering wheel, causing everyone to break into song, singing Forget You as loudly as possible, which irritated the driver even more. He exceeded the speed limit, swerving past other cars dangerously.

''MOVE, BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY, GET OUT THE WAY BITCH GET OUT THE WAY-''

''GET OUT!''

51.) The gang were kicked out of the taxi and into some forest in the middle of nowhere.

''Come to think of it, Oliver, couldn't you have just teleported us to KFC?''

''Eh? But I'm out of mana.''

52.) Let's explore the forest~!

''OH HELL NAW!''

53.) There's something over on that tree...

Rana picked up the something.

54.) It's a page!

''SHIT SHIT SHIT-''

55.) EVERYONE CALM DOWN!

They did so.

Teto arrived with a radio. ''Let's all do some cool-down exercises-''

''_DOUSHITE?! DOUSHITE?!'' _Miku wailed.

''WEEB!'' Len jeered.

''I'M JAPANESE DIMWIT I CAN'T BE A WEEB.''

56.) There's sudden static!

Oliver started hyperventilating.

''Oh great, now what?!''

''Everyone remain calm! Let's do those exercises!''

Teto switched on the radio, which had a lot of static but somehow still played.

57.) _Hiffu, hihiifu_

58.)_ Lalalalalalalala!_

As everyone did sit ups in time to the music, Oliver wheezed and raged at Teto, ''NOT FUNNY!''

''I thought it was kind of funny,'' Rin shrugged.

''FUNNY SENSE OF HUMOUR!''

Suddenly someone showed up.

It was goddamn IA, who had previously disappeared.

''HEY GUYS-''

''SHUT YOUR FACE!''

59.) im too damn lazy for this

60.) im going home

''YOU CAN'T GO HOME!'' Miku stomped Gumi into the ground.

''OW, OW, OW!''

''Come on,'' Neru scowled. ''The poor girl's clearly tired. She didn't even use good grammar.''

''SAYS THE TROLL!''

61.) EVERYONE SHUT UP!

''No.''

62.) Aww, it didn't work.

''What did you expect?''

63.) Neru actually expected everyone to listen to her.

64.) How sweet.

65.) Also a waste of effort.

66.) But whatever.

There was a moment of calm and then-

67.) _EVERYBODY DO THE FLOP!_

They did so, forming a pile on top of Oliver.

''WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE ME?!''

''CAUSE YOLO.''

68.) Gakupo has been fed to IA because nobody should ever say yolo.

''SWIGGITY SWAG WHAT'S IN THE BA-''

''NO.''

69.) Hehe.

''Please stop.''

70.) MEIKO'S STILL A FLIBBLEFLANGER!

71.) SHE'S STILL A FLIBBLEFLANGER!

''Will someone explain to me what the hell a flibbleflanger is?''

72.) It's a thing.

''I'M GETTING EVEN MORE DEJA VU, DAMMIT!''

73.) WHERE'S MEIKO?

''I DON'T KNOW AND I DON'T CARE!''

74.) Kaito is crying because her beloved Meiko is missing.

''..._Her_?''

75.) Kaito is a girl.

''...Right... sure.''

76.) _WE ARE THE CHEEKY GIRLS-_

''SHUT UP!''

77.) We have determined Meiko's location!

''And?''

78.) I spilled water on the computer oh shit

79.) I CANT MOVE MY CURSOR SOS

''Looks like the author is in trouble... ignore her.''

80.) ANYWAY!

81.) Meiko, it seems, has found KFC.

''Well. What do you know.''

They followed her footprints to KFC where they found her pigging out with Haku and V Flower.

''Nice, Meiko. Classy.''

''Get me some sake my underling.''

''Hey Haku, hey V Flower.''

82.) Haku is enraged.

''I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN OVER LEN RUNNING ME OVER WITH THE ROADA RORA!'' she screamed. ''I WILL WREAK MY REVENGE ON YOU, KAGAMINE LEN!''

83.) _ADAGAESHI SYNDROME, IYAGI NAI SEIGI-_

''NO!''

''Aren't you supposed to be working now, Haku?''

''No...''

84.) If Kaito is a girl, this means Kaiko is a guy.

''You're just leaping back to that?''

''My brain hurts!''

''BUT I'M A GIRLLLLLLLLLL,'' screamed Kaiko from a nearby table.

On closer inspection, it wasn't Kaiko.

It was Shiteyanyo disguised as Kaiko.

''WATASHI NO KAWAII SHITEYAN-''

''HEY!''

''AAAAGH!''

A nearby waitress threw Shiteyanyo in the bin.

''THANK YOU RANDOM CITIZEN.''

85.) Should we stop picking on Shiteyanyo for once?

Everyone considered it.

86.) Nah.

87.) Let's not.

''WHY DON'T WE ACTUALLY ORDER OUR FOOOOOD?!''

''CALM DOWN RIN, CALM DOWN!''

88.) Thus, they went to order their food.

89.) Rather unsurprisingly.

''We have fooood. All is well with the world.''

90.) We left Rinto and Lenka behind, as usual.

''Who cares?''

91.) We care.

''No we don't.

92.) Yes we do.

''NO WE DON'T!''

''ENOUGH!''

93.) Everyone is eating the food.

94.) We all love food.

95.) TEN MINUTES LATER

''UGH I AM STUFFED. I COULD NOT EAT A SINGLE THING.'' Miku groaned.

''Wanna cookie?'' offered IA.

''Yes please.''

96.) How are we gonna get home?

''I've had enoush of taxis. Letsh walk.'' Meiko slurred.

''Is that okay, given Meiko's current state of intoxication?''

''You what mate?''

97.) They did walk home.

98.) Meiko was fairly happy about this.

99.) The others weren't so pleased.

100.) Possibly because Oliver was still hyperventilating.


	8. IA: Rattlesnake Stylist

**Hello, i'm sorry this took forever, I had a lot of things on my mind and I wasn't sure if I should continue this, and I decided not to. But however, if you would like the last chapter I previously finished, then read on.**

1.) We're gradually moving away from the most popular vocaloids.

''HEY!'' the Cryptonloids groaned.

2.) Thus this chapter is IA's turn!

IA cheered while everyone else screamed in agony. ''AaAaAaAAaAaAAa-''

3.) IA likes to eat turkey.

4.) She is obsessed with turkey.

5.) Not the country, the food.

6.) Because IA doesn't like Hetalia.

''HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE HETALIA?!''

''IT SUCKS!''

''ERM, RUDE!''

7.) IA's name is always spelled in capitals for some reason.

8.) Like Kaito and Meiko's were, but the fans hella abandoned that.

9.) Her full name is Aria on the Planetes.

10.) She has the hots for Jin.

IA pouted. ''Excuse me, I do _not!_''

11.) Jin is pissed and will stop using IA for future projects.

''I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SO SORRY-''

''Will you pipe down?'' Oliver hissed. ''I'm still recovering from my hyperventilation, and you're not helping.''

''_HIFFU, HIFFIFU-_''

''TETO NO!''

12.) Teto has fallen into a huge pit.

''A.. pit? In the flat?'' Rin questioned, peering into it and falling in. ''IT'S ATTRACTING ME TO IT LIKE A MAGNET! HELPPPPPPpppp...''

13.) _DAKIYOSETE HOSHII-_

Luka and Miku, whom had started to sing Magnet, were pushed into the pit.

''Was that really necessary? Whoever did that, take responsibility.'' Meiko said, showing maturity for one rare moment.

Nobody owned up, unsurprisingly.

14.) We have a MURDERER IN OUR MIDST.

''Most people here have killed someone at some point in this story-''

''WE DON'T NEED YOUR LOGIC, GUMI.''

15.) Ain't nobody got time fo logic!

''There's always time for logi-''

''NEVER!''

''LEN, YOU'RE TEH DETECTIVE! FIND OUT WHODUNNIT!''

16.) _H__itotsu-me no nazo wa naze kare ga hitori no heya de-_

''I SAID FIND OUT WHODUNNIT, NOT SING AND HOPE SOMEONE FESSES UP!''

17.) Len has stopped singing.

18.) That is because his arm disappeared.

''Why?!''

19.) Because, the detective is one-armed!

''Your honour, what you just heard... was _logic!_''

''_What?_''

20.) Never mind.

''Nobody ever gets my references,'' Luka sobbed, curling up on the floor.

''L-LUKA-CHAN IT'S OKAY! IT'S OKAY!''

21.) Then...

22.) Why did the chicken cross the road?

''LUKA JUST BECAUSE WE SAID IT'S OKAY DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET TO MAKE RANDOM JOKES AND COUNT THEM AS FACTS, ESPECIALLY NOT IF THEY'RE SHITTY JOKES.''

23.) To get to the other side!

''You're just going to finish the joke? Alright, then...''

24.) ATTEN-SHUN!

Everyone jumped.

25.) I HAVE FIGURED OUT WHO THE MURDERER IS!

''Who is it, Len?!'' Rin peered out the top of the pit.

26.) IT'S RINTO AND LENKA!

Everyone gasped.

''But all we're doing is watching Detective Conan,'' Lenka said.

''Which is a sufficient encouragement for murder! Chase them away!'' Len roared.

''Hippity hoppity!'' chorused Kaito and Rana.

27.) Rinto and Lenka are now in jail.

''Maybe we were too harsh on them?'' Gumi wondered. ''After all, we didn't arrest anyone else for murder...''

They considered this.

''Nah, it'll be funny to see them deal with life without their anime.''

''Fair enough.''

28.) Kaito and Rana are singing.

''WHAT'LL I DO?! WHAT'LL I DO?!'' Rana scream-sang loudly.

''WHAT AN UNUSUAL VIEW!'' Kaito continued equally loudly.

''BLURP!'' Teto called, squishing Kaito's head between a pair of cymbals.

29.) Kaito and Rana won't stop singing.

''SHUT IT OR WE'LL PUSH YOU INTO THE PIT!''

''_Yamete yaruyo utaite nanka..._''

30.) They've stopped now, funnily enough.

31.) And luckily enough for them.

32.) Because otherwise they would have been pushed into the pit.

''Can we go somewhere less dangerous?'' asked Len.

''Good call.''

33.) INTO THE ELEVATOR WE GOOOOOO-!

34.) Please stand by as the elevator descends.

''WE'RE IN THE GREAT GLASS ELEVATOR! HUEHUE!''

''Shut up.''

35.) We have arrived!

''Shall we go to the shops?'' asked Luka.

''What, and carry a computer around? I think not!'' Oliver said indignantly.

''Let's go, then,'' Meiko hummed cheerfully, patting Oliver on the head.

''DON'T DO THAT.''

36.) Let's go to the nursery!

''How old do you think we are?'' Rin rolled her eyes.

''Maybe we can get Rana and Oliver out of the way.'' Kaito murmured.

''HEY! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!'' Rana bawled, hitting Kaito repeatedly while Poka Poka Shiteru Dake played in the background.

The nursery worker, who happened to be Lily, wordlessly picked Rana and Oliver up by their collars and flung them inside.

''Thanks a bunch,'' Kaito smiled at her, handing over some cash.

''Don't we need that cash?''

''No problem, IA is a great thief.''

37.) IA is a great thief.

38.) She once stole from the King of China.

''It's an Emperor in China, not a King.'' Gumi pointed out.

39.) She once stole from the FLIBBLEFLANGER FRICKLE FRACKLE FLINGY WINGY EMPEROR OF CHINA.

40.) ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, GUMI!?

''Bit excessive, but OK.''

''Nothing's ever too excessive.''

41.) In fact, she stole from the Emperor of China a few minutes ago.

42.) So we have all the wonga we need!

''YAY!'' everyone cheered.

''That's illegal-'' Gakupo began.

''SO IS COSPLAYING AS IROHA NEKOMURA!'' Luka yelled at him.

''UM, NO IT'S NOT!''

''BUTTHURT! LUKA IS BUTTHURT!''

43.) Can we go shopping now?

''Yes, yes we can.''

So they went to the shops.

''A NEWSAGENTS! CAN I BUY ALL THE CHEWING GUM?'' asked Rin excitedly.

''_All_ the chewing gum?'' enquired Len.

''YES! BUY _ALL_ THE CHEWING GUM!'' Rin raised her fist in the air.

''There are no memes allowed in this shop.'' interjected the guy behind the counter, Leon. He pointed to a sign behind him reading ''Meme users will be prosecuted.''

So Rin gave him the finger instead.

44.) Leon is pissed.

''RUN! LEON IS PISSED!'' Kaito scooped up Rin and Meiko, and everyone ran out of the shop with an angry Leon in tow.

''IT'S OKAY BABY DON'T LISTEN TO THEM.'' Lola screamed from the newspaper bit. She just happened to be inside as well.

46.) Leon has decided to abandon the kids who made him mad in favour of sexy Lola.

47.) I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!

''WHEN I WALK OUT THE SHOP-'' Meiko sang at the top of her lungs.

''THIS IS WHAT I SEE-'' IA continued.

''THE POLICE STOPPED US AND THEY'RE INVESTIGATING ME!'' Gumi cried, pleading for help in complete time with the lyrics, oddly enough.

And then she was apprehended.

Kaito looked concerned. ''We should go save Gumi.''

48.) Objective: Save Gumi

''Um... we're right next to you, you know?'' Rion and Aoki, who were still the policewomen, said, and then arrested the whole lot of them.

As they were all squished into the police car, they sang songs to irritate Rion and Aoki. They were marched into prison.

For no legitimate reason at all.

''WE HAVE INFILTRATED THE BUILDING!'' Len cheered, as thought that had been their goal all along.

49.) Objective: Infiltrate building

''It's not just any building, it's prison.'' Rin nitpicked.

50.) Objective: Infiltrate prison

''But we've already done that now.''

51.) Objective: SCREW YOU ALL I'M OUT

''Well, that was... weird.''

52.) Objective: AHKFJ,SGJ,DHAJKDHWJGFTWER-340I[024URQIKPWE,;

''OH MY GOD! WHAT WAS THAT?''

''ERASE IT! ERASE IT NOW!''

It stayed there by some otherworldly influence.

53.) Can we go swimming now?

''YOU THINK WE'RE JUST GONNA SWIM? IN _PRISON_?'' Meiko snarled.

''Why wouldn't we?'' countered Miku.

''I'll magic us up a swimming pool!'' Oliver cheered, waving a random wand about, and then they were inexplicably in a swimming pool.

A swimming pool in prison.

And Gumi was swimming in it.

54.) GUMI'S SWIMMING IN THE POOL!

55.) No shit, Sherlock.

56.) Can we get back to IA facts?

Everyone groaned at IA. ''Uuuurghhh.''

57.) IA's name comes from her voice provider, Lia.

58.) She sang Tori no Uta.

59.) Which is, we think, the opening song for the anime Air.

60.) Which Rinto and Lenka are probably watching as we speak.

''What on?''

''Their smartphones, probably.''

''Well-''

The conversation was interrupted as Rinto and Lenka appeared, not watching anime for once, and they were-

61.) They're being chased by Shiteyanyo.

''AGAIN?!'' Len cried. ''IF THIS KEEPS UP, I'M TURNING INTO HULK-LEN LIKE I DID A FEW CHAPTERS AGO!''

''Not that. Please.'' Luka said completely calmly as the group joined the chase.

62.) HUUUUUULK-LEN!

''Len, no.''

63.) Rin is no longer singing Bon Jovi at halfway.

''I told you I gave up on that.''

''Can't we just get Oliver to magic us out, already?'' mumbled Miku, clearly not in the best of moods.

''Oh, right!'' Oliver smiled. ''My mana level is back to its original state.''

64.) And so, Oliver magicked us back to the flat.

65.) _I'VE GOT THE MAGIC IN ME-_

''STOP SINGING, OLIVER!'' screamed Len.

66.) _Yamete yaruyo utaite nan-_

''EVERYONE SHUT UP!'' screamed Len.

Nobody did.

''Denied!'' IA smirked.

''SHUT YOUR FACE!'' screamed Len.

67.) Nobody did.

68.) So Len really did turn into Hulk-Len that time.

69.) Oh no.

69.5) Hehe.

''DAMMIT IA! WHY DID YOU NEED TO CHANGE IT TO .5 JUST SO YOU COULD DO THAT?!''

''THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW! SOMEBODY KILL HULK-LEN!''

Hulk-Rin appeared and ran him over with a road roller.

70.) Oh.

71.) ...ohhh.

''Well... let's pretend that never happened.''

''Agreed.''

72.) IA BRUSHES HER HAIR WITH WILD RATTLESNAKES!

''DO NOT!''

''DO TOO!''

73.) IA looks like the biggest freaking kuudere

74.) IA has green skin.

''NO I DON'T!''

''Ssssshhhh yes you do.''

75.) She does have green skin, but she's in denial.

76.) She sacrifices pigs to Kali.

''What?! That's horrible!'' cried Rinto, who'd appeared from wherever he probably went. ''Nobody does that!''

All eyes turned to IA, who was currently in the process of sacrificing a pig to Kali.

77.) Horrible.

''I'll say,'' Miku spat.

''You're one to talk,'' Lenka said, ''You sang a song about eating a live pig. And then a bird. And then a baby, and finally a grown man.''

''We do not speak of that.''

78.) Ever.

79.) EVER!

80.) Okay, okay, we get it, Miku!

81.) Miku does not eat live things.

''I only eat them after they've decayed.''

82.) Tmi.

83.) Like... really tmi.

''Well, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast.'' Kaito sighed.

''Kaito, shut up.''

84.) Hulk-Rin?

85.) Is this OK?

Hulk-Rin changed back to her normal self. ''Yeah, I'm not gonna go mental on you all.

''You're already mental.'' Miku whispered.

''WHAT WAS THAT?'' Rin shrieked as she stomped on her former friend repeatedly.

''OW OW OW JESUS CHRIST RIN''

86.) miku is religious

''The lack of punctuation in that last fact is absolutely ghastly,'' commented Gumi.

''Plus the fact isn't true,'' Miku chimed in.

''Yeah, really terrible punctuation.''

87.) Shouldn't we go somewhere?

''What... again?''

88.) Yes again.

Oliver grumbled and downed a shot of cranberry juice before magicking them away yet again. This time they were in a zoo.

Like, with the animals.

''WHAT ON EARTH?!'' cried Len as a rhinoceros nudged his shoulder sensuously.

89.) CHALLENGE! GET BACK HOME BEFORE THE LAST FACT IS DONE!

''OLIVER YOU'RE UP!''

But Oliver was too drunk on cranberry juice to hear anything. Voices were swimming around him like jellyfish, making him smile stupidly before conking out.

90.) You know, I heard a rumour that if we don't get back before 100...

91.) We'll never be able to return!

Everyone gasped in horror, shock and revulsion before screaming the place down.

''SHUT UP!'' yelled the zookeeper (who happened to be Sweet Ann for literally no reason.)

92.) CCCCHHHHAAAOOOOSSSS

93.) AAAGGAJAHAHA

94.) DON'T PANIC EVERYONE!

They all stopped abruptly as Rinto cleared his throat.

95.) Since we're the ones writing the facts, we can just stop and walk home...

96.) Oooh.

''STOP TYPING BITCH!'' Rinto snapped and slapped Meiko.

''WOMAN HITTER! SHAME ON YOU MATE!''

97.) Hahahahahaha

''WHO THE HELL DID THAT?!''

98.) NYAHAHAHEHENSH

99.) This list really isn't about IA anymore...

''Ooh can I do the last one?'' Ryuto asked, piping up from nowhere and smiling innocently.

''YOU CAN'-'' Rinto was inconveniently cut off by the need to cough. ''KA UH UH.'' That was his coughing noise.

''I CAN?! THANKS!''

100.) :)

It was a smiley face written in Comic Sans.

''THIS IS WHY EVERYONE HATES YOU RYUTO...''


End file.
